Is There Room for Me? | Friendology | Pastor Derick Amsler

Hey, we are starting a series today called Friendology. Tell the person next to you, I'll be your friend. Come on, let them know I'll be your friend. I'll be your friend. And then.

And then. Now look at that person who just ignored you. And look at them say, I don't even want to be your friend. So go ahead with your bad self. Go ahead.

Go ahead. Friendology. And what we want to look at is this massive claim the Bible makes. The Bible says that one of God's greatest benefits and blessings to our life is finding, discovering, meeting the right kind of people. So it's not just any sort of friend, it's the right kind of friend.

And the Bible makes this powerful, punchy, pithy, climactic promise when it says, if you find the right kind of people, God will use them to show you more about yourself and the more of God in you. In other words, the right kind of people can make us wiser and stronger, more at peace, more joyful, more steady. They will bring out not just the good in you, but God's calling and God's purpose on your life. Through conversations and through tears and the celebration and birthdays and anniversary, God uses people for the formation and the benefit of our life. The challenge with friends is this.

According to a recent study, as recent as this January of this year. 65. Everybody say 65. 65% of adults admit that it is extremely difficult to make friends as an adult. 65% of adults say it's really hard to not just find the right kind of people, just.

Just find any people who wants to hang out with me. Which is interesting that it's so difficult to find friends because it used to be so easy to make friends. Remember that? Remember how easy it was to make friends when you were 7 years old? All you needed to be a friend was that.

Ask them one question. Do you like the Ninja Turtles? Yeah, bro. Did we just become best friends? And you knew you had a keeper of a friend if you were hanging out with them and their mom brought those frozen popsicles that would cut the side of your lips.

You know what I'm talking about? The long, skinny tubes. You want to know how I got these scars? Frozen pops. That's how.

That's how. It's weird trying to make friends as adults because it's so different than making friends as a kid. You didn't as a kid. You just needed to know their favorite cartoon and if they had a trampoline. And that was the golden recipe for.

For friendship. You didn't know. You didn't know their political stance. Who cared about it. You didn't need to know their enneagram number.

We didn't even have it back then. You didn't need to know their social media handle or their gamer tag. You know why we didn't have that stuff either. When we were a kid, we had something that I. It's so foreign.

I don't know if they're even around today. It was called the outside. It was crazy. It was crazy. So you would meet people outside and you would hang out until the street lights came on.

Something happened between childhood and adulthood where the conversations begin to shift and change its focus a little bit. No longer are we asking, what's your favorite color and what's your favorite cartoon? Now we're saying things like this, hey, we ought to, you know, catch up and go out to eat sometime. To which we all say, absolutely. And we all know what that means.

Absolutely. Never gonna happen is what that is. And then we meet up with somebody 11 months later, hey, still thinking about you. We ought to get together. Absolutely.

How many millions has Applebee's lost on the failed plans to get together? Absolutely. And making friendships are weird.

We tend to give social media a bad rap because, after all, social media gives us a false sense of connection where we blur the lines between information and affection. Like, I'm friends with a guy on. On Instagram that I went to middle school with. I know his kid made the travel team, and I know his favorite place to eat. And I even know when his birthday was, thanks to the reminders.

I've not talked to him since middle school. Isn't it interesting how we're living in a day and age where we're more connected than ever and yet, according to that stat, more emotionally disconnected than ever before? But I don't think technology is the issue, and I don't even think busyness is the issue. I don't think it's busyness. You know what I think it is?

I think it's history.

As an adult, we have too much history between us and failed relationships between us and failed friendship. We put our out there. They let us down. We were open and vulnerable and authentic. And they weaponized my vulnerability against me.

They made me feel a certain way. I put myself out there. I wasn't included. And what do you do with all this history when history becomes pieces of evidence? Maybe it's not just them, maybe it's me.

And that's what insecurity does. It will take the evidence that somebody else suggests about inclusion and relationship or friendship, and it will reverse engineer itself and make you the problem of all relationships. So now I start walking into rooms and every conversation, not looking for people that I like based on shared interest or personality or the way they think. Now I'm walking into every conversation, guarded, sheltering the authentic me, because I don't want to once again be let down by exposing the raw me. Ask the person next to you, can you handle me?

Just let me. Come on, can you? Can you handle this?

Underneath every adult longing for relationship and connection and friendship are two sets of questions. One, can I trust these people? And secondly, is there room for somebody like me in a place like this? When we come to the Book of Acts, we're introduced to an event in which a group of men in Jerusalem, they hated the message of Jesus, which was being proclaimed in this particular moment through a guy named Stephen. They were anti Jesus, anti this early church movement.

And so a guy by the name of so Saul gives his credibility, lends his authority, ultimately his approval for a group of men in that particular city to pick up stones and to stone the messenger, stone him to death. He's the first martyr in the New Testament. The camera angle kind of shifts from the last breath of Stephen praying his way out of this life and into the next, onto the cynical, sinister smirk of Saul offering his approval and his delight. Another Christian is dead.

Sometime later, a message reached the same Saul that a group of Christians are forming in the city of Damascus. And if we hurry ourselves to it, we might be able to locate this group of Christians, arrest them and drag them back to Jerusalem for either death or persecution. Acts, chapter 9, verse 3. The story picks up as he neared Damascus on his journey. Suddenly, a light from heaven flashed around him.

He fell to the ground and heard a voice say to him, saul, Saul, why do you persecute me? Who are you, Lord? Saul asked. I am Jesus, whom you are persecuting, he replied. Now get up and go into the city and you will be told what you must do.

The men traveling with Saul stood there speechless. They heard the sound, but they did not see anyone. Saul got up from the ground and when he opened his eyes, he could see nothing. He's blinded. So they led him by the hand into Damascus for three days.

He was blind and did not eat or drink anything. So just to make sure that we are embodying the experience of the text itself, let me take you there for a minute. The Bible says that Saul is on his way to Damascus and suddenly something happens to him. You be Saul. You be Saul.

I'll be the good guy. It's my sermon. I'm the good guy. You're the bad guy. And so Saul is on his way to this city to arrest people like me and like you.

He's on his way to the city. So face to screen. And the Bible says a massive light flashed in his eyes. Boom. And he was blinded.

Put this on. Put this on. He's blinded. He's going into the city to find Christians. But now he's reliant on Christians.

To find him, he goes into the city. Watch it. Now. There's a step here. There's a step.

There's another step. Keep stepping. Step, step. Keep stepping. Keep.

No, I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. I wasn't doing them there. But he goes into the city, and there's a chair right here. I promise.

There really is. He goes into the city, and the Bible says that he's blinded for three days. And for three days, he is stuck in this Airbnb, if you will, in Damascus. So stay here until Wednesday, okay? I'll come for you.

Now, the Bible says that on the other side of town, there is a man who is a follower of Jesus. He's a Christian living in Damascus. Watch this. Now, the same reason why Saul was coming to Damascus was to arrest people like him. He knows why Saul is in the city.

He doesn't know that he's blinded. He just knows Saul is among us. Because you know how word gets out in a small town. The Bible says that God spoke to this man named Ananias. And here's what he says.

Go to the house of Judas. That's not Judas, the one who betrayed Jesus. It's another one. Go to the house of Judas. He's living on Straight Street.

And ask for the man from Tarsus. His name is Saul, for he is praying. Now imagine being Ananias. And God gives you an address for the guy who's been bullying you, your family and all your people. God gives him the address for the Notorious B.I.G.

saw himself. What do you do with that kind of emotional and mental awareness and tension rising up on the inside of you? You're gonna do what Ananias did. He responds, lord, I have heard many reports about this man and all the harm that he has done to your holy people in Jerusalem. Which is a fancy way of saying, lord, I don't know if you're still in the family chat or not, but, man, we've been talking about this guy.

We've got photos of this.

Lord, I've heard many reports about this man. Many reports, and all that he has done to harm your people. I love the irony of the passage. God gives Ananias an address. Ananias gives God a file.

Lord, let me just check my file here and make sure that you understand who we're talking about. This guy's got history. This guy's made some decisions. This guy's got a record. This guy's got a past.

Don't we do this to people? Sometimes we stop seeing people and we start seeing wounds and hurts and traumas and pains. I don't know about you, but sometimes I'm really good at protecting myself from the one person who hurt me. That now I protect myself against everybody who never did. Not because of what they did, but because of the file that I carry.

It's hard to make friends as an adult when we've got evidence of those who've let us down. You heard me. I'm gonna make a file about that. See if I ever trust you again. You disappoint me.

You got a different opinion than me. And there's something about a difference of opinion. That if your soul isn't healthy, your insecurity will project argumentation where there was just simply a disagreement. We're just disagreeing. But because I can't handle disagreement and because of my insecurity, now you're after me.

I'm putting that in the file. I'm putting that in the file. Pain. I'm gonna file this away. Somebody in the church hurt me.

I'm gonna file that away. And because there's something in me that wants to protect myself from enduring that kind of pain again. I'll put everybody in their world in my file. You know, I'm talking about their mama's going in the file, their little sisters going in the file. If they got a goldfish named Sammy, Sammy's in the file.

Everybod associated with them is going in my file. I will put up walls with reason and excuses because of the evidence him and other people have given me. God gives Ananas an address. Ananas gives God a file. Here's what makes this moment so uncomfortable, though.

Are you ready for this?

The file is actually true. He really did do those things. He was really torturing, murdering, and capturing Christians to drag them off to Jerusalem. Sometimes the biggest challenges in life and the biggest pains in life are not overcoming someone's lie against you. It's the way somebody triggered what is true in you.

The challenge then, is that we stop associating God through his lens of faithfulness and forgiveness. And we start perceiving God through the file of our own limitations. So it's hard for us to believe that God loves us, God has a plan for us, God can forgive us. That God has a calling for us, and that God has put people in our life for spiritual formation, for a benefit for our very soul. Because we only view God ourself and others through this.

And it's hard for me to see Jesus clearly if I have a malign view of myself. And it's hard for me to accept people that God has put in my life if I can only see them through the file I put on theirs.

The good news is that people are not photographed. People are stories in motion. Isn't it true? Isn't it true how there are people in our life who will hold us hostage or limit our life or limit what God wants to do in our life? Because they took a snapshot of one moment or one decision in our life, and now they project the rest of our life on that one moment.

Anybody know what I'm talking about? I've got a guy back in Kentucky. I've not seen him for, like, I don't know, like three or four years. But every time I've seen him for the past 17 years, he calls me Eighties. That's my nickname to him.

Eighties. Like the 1980s. Because one time in my life, I attended a birthday party and the theme was 1980s. I thought you were supposed to dress up to things like that, so I did. You want to see a picture of it?

It looked like this.

So. So he's probably not being disrespectful. He's probably in counseling because of the trauma. That's what it is. But to this day, he calls me 80s.

I'm like, bro, that was one silly outfit for one particular. My God, take it off the screen. I was like, dude, that was one time. Watch this. A photograph can give you a snapshot of one one moment in the timeline of your life.

A photograph never speaks to the truth of who you are becoming. We're all people in motion. And the Bible says that we have this power to be transformed by the renewing of our mind and the steadfastness of our love and pursuing Jesus. God wants to take you out of photographic living and filing problems and sin away. And he wants to bestow something new on you called friendship.

God sees us as friends, but we can't see the friendship because all we do is see files.

Ananias brings God A file. But God is going to tell Ananias his future. So he tells Ananias to go to Saul. You see the irony? He's blind.

He has to operate in blind faith. I just gotta go and trust that God is working on a heart that I cannot see through. A life that I've limited through a photograph of time. I'm wondering if God's been working overtime on you. But because you haven't seen it yourself, because you've been obsessed with this, what would it look like for you to give God the next three months of your life and just trust his faithfulness is greater than your file?

I'm wondering who we've given up on. Because all we do is see their file. And while they're blinded to what you profess to be true, we have to operate in blind faith. The Bible says that God tells Ananias, go. This man is my chosen instrument.

He's not a file. He's an instrument. Let me change the melody and the key that he's playing. Go. Go.

This man is my chosen instrument. To proclaim my name to the Gentiles and to their kings and to their people of Israel. Ananias walks over to the man and he says, brother Saul. Now, if you grew up in church, you might be tempted to think that Brother Saul is just a religious title of respect. Like Brother Saul and Sister Betty and Sister.

No, no, no. In the Greek, the original language, this was written in, it's recorded that. He says, brother. When you look that word up in Greek, it's the literal word for brother, family, DNA. He's saying, hey, I know you came to Damascus to arrest somebody like me.

But God sent me to look for somebody like you. To invite you into a family like this.

Brother Saul, the Lord Jesus has appeared to you on the road. And I would argue that God's been appearing to you. Maybe not as obvious as a flash of light, but if you slow down long enough to remove your file and begin to look for evidence of his faithfulness, you'll see that God's been appearing to you on the roads of life. Brother Saul, the Lord Jesus has appeared to you on the road, has sent me so that you may see and see again and be filled with the Holy Spirit. You can take this off.

He's healed. And now the same man who went to Damascus to arrest Christians now stands up as one. This moment not only changes his life, it changes the rest of the New Testament and even affects our day and age today. Thank you, brother. Go.

This man is my chosen Instrument.

The Bible says that for the next three years, he will go to Arabia. He's learning what it means to be a Christian. He's relearning the Scriptures. He's learning what does it mean to really walk with God and then to follow Jesus as Lord. He's gone for about three years, and when he returns, you would almost think that three years is long enough for people to forget your photograph and to give you a new chance.

Three years is a long time, right? Three years, a long time. Agree. Three years is like a sophomore at wvu. That's a long time.

Three years, three years. He comes back, but apparently it's not long enough. Watch this. When he came to Jerusalem, which is where the church was exploding and growing and the disciples were meeting there, when he came to Jerusalem, Saul wanted to join the disciples. He wanted to be one of them.

But they were all afraid of him not believing that he was really a disciple. They didn't really believe that he changed. And we don't really blame them, Right? After all, the file was correct. But what's true of files is sometimes true of our feelings.

And now we never let people see us, or we get discouraged about the lack of progression in other people. And so we just kind of close people off.

Put yourself in the sandals of these disciples who are trying to really understand, has this man really changed in our day and age? It sounds something like this. Maybe you've watched somebody you trusted hurt you. You've watched a friendship fall apart. You were let down by a promise they never fulfilled.

And somewhere inside you, you made a decision. I'll never let that happen again. So I'm glad you say you changed, but you're not joining our crew. Luke then gives us four words, but Barnabas took him.

He takes Saul the Apostle to the apostles and essentially vouches for them. Guys, I know that what you're saying is true about him, but remember, that was a photograph. That wasn't his purpose. That was a moment that wasn't his calling. The Bible says that when we come to him that he changes us and he transforms our life beyond human willpower, beyond human.

Human strength. He will literally transform our entire being into something new. Fast forward from this moment that Barnabas vouches for Saul. 30 years has passed. Saul has become who we now call the Apostle Paul.

He spent his life preaching Jesus, planting churches up and down Asia Minor. And now, near the end of his, his life, he's actually sitting in a Roman prison cell for preaching Jesus. He writes a letter to a friend of his named Timothy. But just listen to what Timothy is. Is.

Is. Is reading. He says, saul writes, when you come, bring the cloak that I left with Carpus at Taurus. In other words, that's my jacket. I want it back.

Don't let him take that thing. That's mine. When you come, bring the cloak that I left. And bring my scrolls, especially the parchment. Bring me scripture.

Do your best to get here before winter.

You know what friendship is? It has a way of showing up. Bring me a jacket. That's practical. I'm cold.

Bring me scrolls. I need you to give me perspective of what God is saying about me and about the situation. To my heart and to my mind. But most importantly, Timothy.

Bring me Timothy. I need presence. Practical perspective. Presence. And by the way, you can't always assume that people know what you need at the moment that you need it.

Sometimes we call friendships weak. When in reality we just projected ourselves so strong they didn't know how needed they really were. Were sometimes great friendships start like this. Would you bring me a jacket? Would you bring me my scrolls?

Or in our day and age. Would you bring me a coffee? And would you bring me Jesus? And would you bring me you Bring me a coffee. Talk to me about this.

Remind me what God says about me. That weeping endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning. Morning. I'm really having a hard time praising God through my level of inadequacies and insecurities. Will you remind me that I'm not who I was in high school and I'm not who I was in that past relationship?

And I'm not my failure and I'm not my addiction. Bring me a jacket. Bring me Jesus. But bring me you. There's something through the course of conversation that will remind me the power and the significance of what Jesus Christ did on the cross.

Though I weep over files, he rejoices over friendship. And sometimes I can't get out of my own way to see him clearly because I'm obsessed with seeing me and the world wrongly. Would you bring me a jacket? Bring me Jesus. And bring me you.

You know why this is so important? Because you don't actually discover great friends. You just don't. You actually practice friendships. And eventually you'll discover you developed one along the way.

Do you like Ninja Turtles? Let's go from there.

Maybe in the course of this message you resonate with the spirit of Ananias. You're quick to point out flaws, failures and fails. Maybe in the course of this message you resonate with the spirit of Barnabas. And you've given up on somebody and God wants you to walk across the room and say, I got you. I'll take you into the presence of Jesus.

Or maybe you resonate with the spirit of Saul.

Not interested in God, Basing the friendship of God on the file that you have kept and made yourself. And I just want to remind you where his biography really began. On the road to Damascus, going through life, doing his own thing. God met him on the road road not because he was flawless, but because Jesus is that faithful. God is bigger than your files.

And so here's the gospel. While we were not looking for him, he was still following us. Later on, Saul, who became Paul, would write a letter to a gathering of Christians in Rome. We have that letter in our Bible. It's called Romans.

And here's what he said. While we were God's enemies. That's a strong word. Enemies of God. What would make somebody an enemy of God?

Rebellion, treason. What is that about? It's sin in our life. That's what sin is. It's rebelling against the person and the.

The plans of God. While we were God's enemies, we were reconciled. That means made right, rekindled. While we were enemies, we were reconciled to God through the death of his son. So how do we go from enemies to reconciled?

A man hung on a cross in the middle. So that those of us who have been in our are enemies of God, living life for ourself, doing our own thing. If we would put our faith and trust in the reality that Jesus is the savior of the world and the savior of our sins, gets us out of that, wants to have a relationship with us. He washes away our sins and we are reconciled to him.

So two important words. To be a part of the family of God, Acceptance. This is where we accept the fact that we are a sinner, in need of a savior. And we can't bridge this gap by being nicer, trying harder, helping more, serving the poor more, giving more. No, no, no.

For the wages of sin. The Bible says the price tag of sin is the death. But if you believe in this reality, God gives you a gift that's called eternal life. So acceptance. God, I got a file of sin.

And I need your mercy and your grace and your friendship to wash away my sin. And only you can do something like that. The first word is acceptance. The second word is repentance. Repentance is not a religious word.

It's a military word word. It simply means about face. Turn around. I'm going this way, living for myself, calling my own shots. I'm God of my life.

But when I accept the fact that this will never work out, and this doesn't fix anything between me and God, we can't earn it because we don't deserve it. But if I will. About faith, humble myself, God, this isn't working out. So I'm going to trust you. And I turn around, I make a 180.

The Bible says that God is faithful and just to meet us there. When does God meet with us? Not when we clean ourself up, but when we admit the fact I need him in my life. I love the imagery. This is a kid doing his own thing.

He hears the voice of God, son. He turns around and Dad's not playing hide and seek. Daddy's right here, son. Ah. Come here, boy.

Brother Saul, God has sent me to remind you he's been on your road of life. I know you have every reason and excuse to count yourself out of being in the family of God. But God sent Ananias to cross town. He sent Barnabas to cross the room. He sent his son Jesus to cross the gap between heaven and earth.

To remind you family.

But not the dysfunctional kind, the friendology kind.

Have you ever had a moment where you just said God? I'm tired of carrying around the files of my life. I want to make the greatest gift exchange of all time. I want God to take my file and I receive his grace and mercy. My file for his faithfulness and forgiveness.

That don't make any sense. And God says that's why we call it Amazing Grace. How sweet. That instrument that saves somebody like Saul.

Stand up with me across this place in the lobby, online. Come on in the theater room. Let's all lock in. Right now. Let's lock in.

How's your heart? How's everything between you and God? You still viewing yourself and other people in the family of God? Are you viewing God through the lens of your past mistakes? When God says, I actually came to erase those from you?

He who believes in me, though he were dead, yet shall he live. What does it mean to follow Jesus? Acceptance, repentance, and then pursuit. We just want to pursue him as boss of our life, master of our life. We give him the driver's seat.

No longer am I calling the shots. I humble myself. I follow the Savior. Have you had that moment? Greatest decision of your life.

I want to extend that invitation to you right now to be a part of the family of God. Is there a place for me with all my awkwardness. All my past, all my files. Saul would say, welcome home. With your heads bowed and your eyes closed.

You would say, I'm giving my heart to Jesus right now. I not have a relationship with him. I've not been following him. But today I repent. I pull a 180, and I'm walking out of these doors different than the way I walked in.

I'm asking Christ to forgive me of my sins. And I give him all of me. If that's you, as an outward sign of a heart that's operating in full surrender now, would you put your hand in the air? I just want to pray for you. Yeah, Come on.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Come on. Theater room lobby online.

Amazing. Congratulations. Best decision of your life. Now, it was a concert of voices. And for the encouragement of those who are taking this step into the family of God, sons and daughters of God.

Would everybody repeat this prayer after me? Lord Jesus, thank you for the gift of grace. Thank you that your faithfulness is bigger than my great file. I give you my sin. I give you my heart.

I give you my future. I give you my life. I choose to make you both Savior and Lord. In Jesus name, put your hands together.